It was lovely greeting you WWingers this morning after your first day saying goodbye. Now’s the time to take a moment to breathe in and breathe out and give yourselves a much deserved hug. I don’t think any amount of prep can really predict how first times will go and though we work really hard at building trusting relationships, we are asking a lot of you. Letting go. . . this could be one of the hardest things to do as a parent. . first time or otherwise. That, and learning the value of not trying to fix everything!
I’ve attached our recording herehttps://us02web.zoom.us/rec/share/5J1zAL-r8XFOU5HvxBvTB4t8AKjGaaa8gCId-6FZxB49bioQCpT8e8srm-xpRFHr Passcode: Mx?4*+Qe
For those of you who had to slip off to work and as a refresher for those of you who were able to join us. Keywords for the morning. . . slow down, really listen, validate first, respond instead of react and try to understand what children are really saying when they say things that may trigger an emotional reaction. Words like, “I have no friends” or “I don’t like school”. Leading our response with an open ended, “Tell me more about that” or “I want to know more”. Remember, that asking too many questions is too much for a three year old. . .and for a lot of us for that matter! I know you want to find out how their day went but be careful not to intrude. Reconnection is important and sometimes that means just sitting together. “I was thinking about your day” or “I was imagining all the things you would be doing at school” may be the simplest opening line you need.
Remember, too, that though school is filled with great, creative, fun things to do, the children are really working hard at learning and following new routines and getting to know each other. It’s like when you start a new job. . .you’re pulling it off at work but at home, you’re melting down. You most likely will see behaviors shift in these beginning days/weeks. This is where we will be tested and remembering that behaviors mean something and validating first is the first step in support. “Wow! I can see you’ve got some really big feelings right now. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” or “You’ve really been working hard at learning all the new things at school.”
I like listening to podcasts and there are a few sure things that I find informative. Joanna Port is the director of Crestwood Hills Coop and she has a Parenting Portal podcast that I really like. On Wednesday, she had Lindsay Astor Grant as her guest and she talked about Executive Functioning and brain development https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9mNmJhNzljL3BvZGNhc3QvcnNz/episode/ZjNiYjU0M2QtZWM0ZC00NDRlLTkxNWQtMmVlYzUxZG . She speaks so much to what we addressed in such a short time this morning. That it is important to give children experiences that have them problem solving and feeling accomplished. That doesn’t happen without some struggles which is so hard for us to see. . but important. Children have a right to their own life’s experiences that challenge them with successes and failures and with the right support systems, and I feel the teachers are brilliant at this, it is the ultimate gift of knowing that they are, indeed, very strong and capable.
So. . .take this moment to thank yourself for a job well done. We are here with you in all the ups and downs and very grateful for your partnership. xoxoR