Hello, Friends. When I reached out to let everyone know that I was very ready to meet in person and get back to doing the Coffees with Roleen that I so love to do, the Dandelions reached back and last Thursday, five parents gathered in the Kotek’s backyard. And this time I brought Erin Cypers with me!! It felt good to be together in person to talk about our favorite subject. . .parenting. We were all really ready to share success stories as well as work through the “what ifs” of real- live scenarios. We covered a lot of territory, made notes for following up, and reflected on some ah ha moments to share with all of you:
It’s easier to let it go than to follow up. This gives mixed messages. It’s ok to say no. And stand by that no. Set that boundary and stick to it. Be a coach and not a disciplinarian. Take the charge out of it. What you feed, will persist. So stop feeding it.
If a child knows a rule, there is no need to repeat it. Move directly to the consequence.
ex: time in rather than time out. You need to show me self control. Let me know when you’re ready (and then stop talking!) It’s ok to empathize and validate feelings, but don’t overtalk.
Empathize once, then let them know what’s up.
ex: ”I know you really want that extra show before dinner, that’s a tough one, but it’s dinner time, and time to come to the table.”
Establish boundaries clearly and respectfully. Speak to your family values. ex: We are practicing good manners at the dinner table. We sit until everyone is finished.
We also touched base on parenting styles again. A good refresher. Here’s a great podcast with Dr. Eliza Pressman that speaks to this and other things we talked about:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044
And we talked alot about anxiety. . . ours and our children’s. I was introduced to this sister team by my daughter in an effort to support her 9 year old daughter, my granddaughter (the perfectionist!). I’m loving it and it’s helping me, too. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/flusterclux-with-lynn-lyons-for-parents-who-worry/id1506503059
Both podcasts are just one of many segments that are relatable.
To sum this all up, I’ll end with Kimberly’s (Olivia) reflection of the morning that speaks for all of us. I’m looking forward to many more in-person gatherings in the new school year together. xoR
. . .I had forgotten how wonderful, and needed, it is to sit in the company of others discussing our parenting journeys. A simple nod in recognition, a giggle at common behavior and the warmth and kindness that Roleen and Erin show while dropping their wisdom is just what the doctor ordered. I had that feeling that we are a part of something really special at NSW and we are all in it together. That togetherness has been missed so much this year. I am extremely grateful for our time the other morning. And I’m happy to report that everyone has stayed seated at our dinner table every night since our coffee! So, basically, togetherness with Roleen and Erin and friends is fun, fulfilling and, apparently, magic!! Kimberly
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