Life has a way of happening when you are trying to figure out what the next step should be. Little did we expect that life would bring us an opportunity to put this into practice so soon.
A couple of weeks ago, Paola’s grandmother died unexpectedly and this was explained to the EW children as the reason for Paola’s absence. Again, there was a heated debate.
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“When someone dies the wind moves them to the slide that takes them to heaven. The door opens and then the people go inside. When they are inside they go to that little window. A machine makes them alive again. If they want to come out, they come out the door, they climb upstairs to go to Sea World, or they don’t have to go to Sea World. And they can go back to heaven even after they are alive again but they have to be dead to go down the slide. I could find the door and go down the stairs but you die when you’re a grown up and then your brain tells you if you were dead and came back alive again but when people come back alive again they come back as grown ups, not kids cause kids don’t die. When your Grandkid is a grown up then you die. (the wind blows the dirt and the dirt has the people in it.)”-Brendan
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“God holds up the sky. He stands on the ‘God ground’ it’s air and God is invisible. He never needs a rest. There’s a God who rides on a chariot and makes the sky light and dark.”-Raven
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“My Grandma is in the sky. My Mommy is giving the flowers to the angels. And the angels are about to give it to my Grandma. My Mommy can’t fly. She needs wings like an angel. God is next to Grandma with my dogs. I am thinking about something that makes me feel better…I’m thinking about Grandma.”-Carla
“The angels are in heaven which is in the sky. The sky is very close to us. At night the angels come down and kiss us while we sleep. I have a whole bunch and they never wash off. If you don’t have any spots no angels have kissed you. They only kiss you when you’ve been good, if you’ve been bad you don’t have any spots. When someone dies their thoughts go up to heaven and then they turn into an angel. Then that person is an angel and they don’t come back alive again.” Chase
We met with the East Wing parents for a dialogue about this taboo topic in childhood: ‘The ‘D’ word’ and how we would like to develop a cultural response in NSW through this investigation. One story that reflected upon this kind of awareness came from Jeff Sugarman, Jake’s dad:
“I told the story about my mother dying this year, and while we all grieved and said goodbye back East, after coming back to LA, I jumped back into the daily routine of life. About 2 months later, Kathe and I were busy with the million things that occupy our attention on any given day, and I was feeling out of sorts, but I had no idea what it was. Something just didn’t feel right. We were putting Jake to bed, and I was very agitated, and Kathe asked me what was wrong. Having no idea what or why I was so unsettled, I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. That’s when Jake said, “Daddy’s sad because Bubbe died”. And that’s when it really hit me. That sensitivity and intuition, as well as the deep truth of what Jake reflected to me, suddenly allowed me to settle into all those feelings, and just feel the loss of my Mom. And what a gift to have my son see me, and get it, so simply, and so authentically.”
It’s this authentic and intuitive response that informs us of the children’s capabilities when tackling such a large and controversial subject. The teachers decided to meet again with Paola’s permission and those who showed compassion for Paola’s situation.
We wonder: what information about Paola’s story will the children process and use to comfort her? How sensitive will the children be in allowing Paola time to process her own feelings?
