It was a lovely morning as parents gathered to connect and learn
from Roleen and from each other. We mingled for a bit, then Roleen took
questions and we started our conversation with some of wonderful nuggets of
wisdom. Here are just a few highlights from our talk:
“Miss” Behavior
Children typically misbehave for three reasons.
1) An unmet need, like being hungry or tired,
2) Lack of a skill, such as language ability, and
3) Wrong fit for the child, like playing indoors for too long when s/he needs
to be outdoors.
Talk about what to expect
Try to anticipate a potentially challenging situation with your child. Explore
the “what if” scenarios. Talk about a plan, and then a plan for when that plan
doesn’t work out as expected. Play out scenarios with persona dolls and let
your child participate.
Listening
Sometimes we need to just listen to the child’s perspective instead of talking
and giving our own solutions to problems. Allow your child to think critically
and problem solve. Take time to sit down and connect with your child. Some
parents suggested “Special Listening Time” – choose a space and amount of time
(5 or 10 minutes) when all you do is listen. One parent suggested lighting a
candle and allowing your child to blow out the candle when the listening
session is over.
Appropriate Touching
We talked about keeping bodies safe, and private parts and appropriate
touching. Naomi had already booked a time for a group session with Pattie
Fitzgerald, an expert in the arena of child safety. She offered to open this up
to the whole school, so expect an email soon with the date, time and a Sign-Up
Genius to register and pay online.
“I think the most important thing I took away was that no matter how busy you are, the kids just need :15 minutes of your time. So, it’s mostly on me to make that happen. I find it crucial for all our well-being, something I’m not the best at and will start implementing today!”
– Monica Miranda
“My take away was the concept around reconnecting at night. I especially like the idea of intentional listening, where you just listen in a designated spot for a designated amount of time. Also, I like the idea of natural consequences as opposed to punitive consequences.”
– Heidi Slater
“So many things I got out of yesterday’s discussion, but I think one that stood out was slowing down and making that connection that our kids need and want from us daily. I took a few moments last night to listen and play with Chloe when she asked even though there was stuff I needed to get done and the same with her twin brother Colin. At that moment I saw how much that meant to both that I just stopped whatever it was I was doing and just engaged with them. I continued this to our bedtime routine and also took time to read a book with each in their bed. It took longer than usual but I felt that there was less of a struggle to put them to bed than usual and both felt they had equal amount of time with momma. By taking the time to slow myself down I could see the changes being made.”
– Allison Yen-Brady