It’s a challenging day for everyone when school starts. While we are here for your children, we recognize that YOU need a place to go, too! The Tsapatsaris Powell family (Melinda and Andy, parents of Ephy, WW) opened their home for you to commiserate and with the support of Roleen and some parents “who have been there”, the conversation and the sharing was rich and supportive. And so, as we had hoped. . . our NSW community continues to grow. Gotta love it!
The gathering of parents on the first day of school was lovely, helpful, and affirming. Parents (from the West Wing and veteran East Wing Parents wanting to attend every last New School West event possible) had the opportunity to ask Roleen thoughtful – and oftentimes hilarious questions i.e. “There are all these rules. Like, ‘Don’t carry in your children.’ Okay got that, but then is it okay to drag them inside?” Roleen then mused and reflected, on the conceptual and the practical. Some highlights from the conversation:
- Drop-off time around 8:45 can get very congested for children. It’s loud. Coming a bit early offers a bit more peace and quiet for children.
- Remember that students in the East Wing are experiencing a big transition as well. It’s a big deal moving across the way.
- Children are tired when they get home because they’ve been holding it together all day. Acting out, anger, and tantrums can be expected when they get home because they are exhausted and even mad. They will taking it out on you because they know you unconditionally love them.
- Oftentimes challenges around separation will hit children later. They’re like, “Wait, this is permanent?”
- It’s important to have pickup be as crisp as possible, since it can be very confusing for the other children who might have to wait hours before their parent, or grandparent, or nanny comes to pick them up. Snacks waiting in the car can expedite the pick-up process. A crisp pickup also supports the teachers.
- Speaking of the teachers, they are wonderful communicators. If you’re wanting to check in individually, send them an email or a text. At drop-off and pick-up they are really working to support the group of children so it’s not optimal to do a check in then. The conferences come early at New School West intentionally, to immediately get the parent-teacher partnership flourishing.
- When listening to your children, be aware of not talking too much as parents! Don’t ask so many questions. And if a child complains about something being hard, don’t try to solve it. A simple, empathic, head nodding, “Change is hard,” and some good old fashioned silence can be golden. In lieu of questions be specific about a moment or a place i.e.: “I imagined you in the house area loft today when I was thinking of you.” Children at this age are so concrete, so using a specific example or even the photos from your visit day are useful as well. Also, as children individuate, it’s important to remember that they don’t have to tell us everything. They actually have some autonomy and privacy now! Also a funny little thing is how obsessed parents can become about any lunch food left over. (Guilty!)
- Breathe. Be involved and connect with other parents on this glorious, sometimes wild, oftentimes hard, and beautiful parenting journey.
-Melinda Tsapatsaris
