Our daughter, Clarke is a true bookworm. Since before she could crawl she recognized her favorite books from the spines. Her library is extensive, but I have to admit it doesn’t have that many books that address intense feelings. I’m not sure if that was me subconsciously “protecting” her or what, but there is definitely a gap in that department. As we near August, and Clarke’s first school year, I wanted to find some books that deal with going to school. I asked Kris if she could recommend some and she suggested The Kissing Hand and Owl Babies. I was nervous at first, I’ll admit it. I wasn’t sure how she’d react to books that addressed such strong feelings. Well I was so pleasantly surprised by her reaction. She loved them. We read both books a dozen times the first day. She sleeps with them every night. I think they have brought her a tremendous sense of relief and will be amazing tools as she starts the school year. -Fiona Stiles (Clarke, WW)
As the new school year approaches many of us are thinking about separation and how best to prepare our little ones for this transition. Books are a great way to talk with young children about the myriad of feelings that accompany separation from trusted caregivers. When I Miss You by Cornelia Maude Spelman is my favorite book on the subject.
With simple text, the story is told by a little guinea pig who recalls various separations from mom and dad (going to school, when the babysitter comes, when dad takes an out of town trip). We follow along as he initially expresses worry, sadness, and anger over the separations. Eventually he comes to understand that separations are a part of life and there are many things he can do to feel better when separations happen. In the end we see him enjoying himself when mom and dad are away, ultimately secure in knowing that mom and dad will always come back.
I love this book for the gentle but forthright way the difficult feelings of separation are addressed. My favorite line is, “Missing you is a heavy, achy feeling”. From this one sentence young children learn that we can empathize with their unpleasant feelings, that other children feel the same way they do, and that there are words to describe a very visceral experience. When I Miss You is also exceptionally empowering for young children. It offers concrete suggestions for how to ease separation distress and shows the guinea pig overcoming his struggle with separation and forging ahead with success. Building resilience is key to children’s happiness!
I highly recommend adding When I Miss You to your home library, especially for our new friends entering the West Wing. It is great preparation for this important transition and mirrors much of the wonderful care that NSW gives with such loving kindness to our children. -Elaine Barrington (Tia, EW)